It’s that time of year where there are large crowds, which seem to have holes in their pockets. It’s a time of festivity… and opportunity. As with all celebrations, and I, a man my stature, have been acquiesced to obtain certain items. As with all celebrations, a fine bottle of liquor was required.
I traveled to one of the finer pubs amidst the town, “The Sleepy Kitten.” Usually filled with the vile filth not worth a bump into in an alley to see if any items drop off their person. They spend their coin on booze instead of valuables. The poor and worthless have no value but that of their flesh and skin. A pretty lady can fetch a coin or two, but value expires too quickly. As antiquities grow in age, as does their worth.
Upon entering, I was greeted by a fine lass which goes by the name of Mara. Introduced myself and informed her that I was in the market for some top shelf booze. We haggled for a bit and settled on a price. I offered my professional services, as most know of my pawn show and my ability to obtain hard to get items. Mara, blatantly not knowing who I am, mistakenly confused my professional services with prostitution. She politely declined. I doubt I could have anyways, she’s alright for human standards, but I prefer them much smaller. Would I have to stand or lay down… how would that have worked? I opted not to say anything, you never know when a new business venture might arise. Everything has a price.
Whilst looking through the pub, admiring the architecture, I found some bottles unsecured. It’s sad when people don’t take responsibility in securing their inventory. After quick inspection, I realized I had overpaid for the previous bottle. How did she talk me into such a high price? Am I falling for human flirtation? I must hit up the Halfling brothel soon, it’s been a while. Feeling awkward, I secured one of the bottles to suit my needs. More bottle could have been taken and appreciated more than the current owner, but the greedy thief has no hands.
During my graceful exit of the pub, to my horror, I see the Judge’s house was set ablaze. With what disregard of valuables could someone have? Mind you I was dying to see if he left anything unattended in his gaudy mansion (I think he’s over compensating.) Many a times I’ve checked the security of his home, but it was always locked. I appreciate that kind of commitment to valuables. I’m sure most of the paintings were of wretched self-portraits and boring fruit. I’ve had one of his painting left in my pawn shop and it hasn’t sold for years. I ended up gifting it to the Judge for one of his birthdays and he was ecstatic that I would purchase a painting of such value for his birthday. I believe it is burning above his mantle at the moment.
With all the commotion from the fire, I visited the pub owned by the daughter of the mayor. I owed my customers a good bottle of liquor and I quickly found some unattended. What is with these people? No concern for property. It makes me a little sick to tell you the truth. Concerned for a bottle, no need to be greedy, I secured one and left.
This was when I noticed the sky looked a bit shit. It was actually a bit of a pleasant change comparatively to the crap happy rosey hue daily. Then my heart sunk and I felt my stomach knot. I muttered “no, no, no, this can’t be,” as I hustled my way to the center of town. My biggest heist plan foiled! There he was in all his glory. The mayor beat me to it! All with his maniacal grin grasping the town’s protective gem. In one fell swoop he smashed the gem into pieces. A shard landed at my feet and I fought hard not to burst into tears in front of the group that gathered.
I picked up the shard and felt the past merge to my existence. I felt unstoppable, until I looked up and saw a firenado. The searing wind seemed to beckon me to, “burn.” I caught people in the corner of my eye attacking. Filled with vengeance over what had happened with the gem, I threw my dagger in a most epic sneak attack. I rolled away just in time for the Judge to unleash all hell onto the flames dispersing them with a glimmering light. That much exertion has not been seen since by buy one get one free sale at the brothel the next town over.
There were are six of us standing ground as the flames and smoke cleared. Soot still burning our nostrils and all was quiet as we gathered ourselves and shook the dust from our clothing. The silence was broken by at first, a faint roaring sound. This isn’t good. Roaring grows louder. War songs of an orc army floods the air. They’ll be on top of us soon…